if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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