Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
