But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
why do cheetos always look like penises
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
