4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
