listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
