you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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