He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
