another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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