That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
