i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
