my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
