Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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