I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
