Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
