Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
