her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
bring money and cleavage
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
