also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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