Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
