i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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