Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
you never un-have a 4some
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
