BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
