you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
