so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
