are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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