There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize