How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
