Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize