why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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