coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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