lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
