i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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