Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I could make wine with my vomit
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
