i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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