you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
