yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
