So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Randomize
