Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
