a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
