Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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