I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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