I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
