He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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