There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
