If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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