I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
please come you make the beer taste better
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
