I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
