he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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