Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We had to coat check the pizza.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize