it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
