I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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