Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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