just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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