I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
She's not a foreskin expert like you
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Randomize
