How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
