We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize