I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
