Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just googled if crying burns calories
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
