Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize