So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
