Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
