Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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