yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
