He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
i now understand why vodka
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
