i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
